to thine own self be true

There was a good talk today in sacrament meeting about how we're all unique and we don't have to be the same. It was sort of about how our neighbors who aren't LDS may not be comfortable around us because they feel different. This is a subject I've thought a lot about recently, but not for my neighbors so much as for myself (although the neighbor thing is certainly important too). I often feel like a freak around my peers at church and in the neighborhood because I feel like such an oddball in so many ways. It's easy to compare yourself to your peers when they try to live a lifestyle that strives for perfection. That usually ends with beating yourself up because you can't sew, can foods, teach the gospel to your children, etc. as well as your neighbor. Which is nonsense anyway because we all tend to try to put on our best faces when we think others are looking. I know that's true for me anyway when I try to make my house spotlessly clean too often when I have guests over, much to my children's and my husband's annoyance. There's a whole list of things that as women, mother's, mormon's, etc. we tend to think we must excel at. When we fall short in a certain area we tend to beat ourselves up about it. That's how I am anyway, and often I'll just give up because it's too hard or not worth the aggravation. Lately, however I've been thinking about how the world is full of millions of different personalities and characteristics and talents. God made us all so the truth is we all bring a unique set of ingredients to the table. For me there are the things that are no-brainers such as raising my kids to be moral people and teaching them about Christ and striving to be a decent human being myself. Then there are the specific things that hold meaning for me. Big things like the environment and social justice and smaller less important things like being at least a partial vegetarian or my slightly irreverent sense of humor or singing along with my music in the car. The point is we all have things that are part of the fabric of who we are. Some say oh those things are superficial and should be cast aside. I disagree. When you cast off the things that make you you, you can cast off your desire for doing the right things that you don't necessarily love to do. I think if you are being true to yourself it makes the other things that might not come naturally to you more appealing. If I'm happy with who I am, I'm more likely to desire to do things like service and scripture study. If I'm not happy because I'm going against my grain, trying to do what I believe everyone else thinks I'm supposed to do (even if it is all just a fabrication of my own mind), I get rebellious and don't want to do anything. Well that's my take on the whole thing. So tomorrow I think I'll study the New Testament, right after I do my workout with my favorite mildly loud and obnoxious music. =)