A couple of months ago a woman came to my door selling cleaning products. Usually I try to pretend I'm not home, being the mature woman I am but this time I answered the door. Well she showed me some yellow cleaner and cleaned my window quite nicely before I had a chance to say "no thank you". Then she took the lid off the bottle and asked me what I smell. I smelled it and replied "Gasoline". 'Cause gosh darn if it didn't have a slight smell of gasoline. She looked shocked and said, "Gasoline?!" She said it was supposed to smell like lemons so I tried again and said "Oh yeah, lemons" adding "and gasoline" in my head. Then she asked me about my kids and showed me a picture of her twins. Following this I told her I couldn't buy her product, no money, husband wouldn't approve, yadda, yadda, yadda....no thank you. She said okay, then asked if I had any cheese. Yes cheese. You see she had some crackers but needed some cheese to go with them. Well sure, I had cheese. So I cut some up, put it in a sandwich bag and she was off. As she walked down the road with her cheese and crackers I wondered if she had gotten the crackers from a neighbor and I felt like crap for not buying her gas smelling cleaner.
Fast forward to today. A salesman comes to my door. I have to answer it because Zoe and her friend are looking out the window and yelling "Someone's at the door!" So I open the door and there is the salesman holding a bottle of blue cleaner. He asks me to follow him over to the garage so he can show me how well the cleaner gets fingerprints off the car window. As we walk to the garage I notice he has a limp, and then he mentions my kids and how he has twins (I don't know if all cleaner salespeople have twins or if the other saleswoman was the mother of said twins). He then cleans my car window quite nicely and lets me smell the cleaner that doesn't smell like anything in particular other than cleaner. I say, "yes I will buy your cleaner" after he tells me some fascinating tales about his life selling cleaner and how some of the proceeds go to helping inner city youth, yadda, yadda, yadda. Then I write him a check. So Brent comes home a while later and I tell him I bought the cleaner and how much I payed for it (eventually I tell him how much I payed for it and no I will never again divulge exactly how much that was). Brent says "You payed HOW MUCH for the cleaner!?" To which I reply "Remember that cleaner saleswoman asked for cheese! And he had a limp!" Needless to say I will never be buying anything from a door to door salesman again.
9 comments:
Okay, after I dry my eyes and get up off the floor...
*sigh*
Lisa P. has "No Soliciting" Signs for your door for $1.00.
It is a lot cheaper than said cleaning products! :)
oh and BTW,
'89 Lancers Rule!!!
Love you!
heheheh...that is too funny. I love it when salesmen come to the door because I have finally learned how to be mean. One time this book guy came around and I told him I wasn't interested in his children's books and he told me I must not care about my children's education...I told him NO and shut the door. Then I sat on the floor laughing! I totally want one of Lisa's No Soliciting signs, they are cute!
P.S. I didn't know you were a Beetdigger...you poor thing! Go Bengals...lol
Hilarious, Cindy, I can so see you doing that. In my child-rearing days I bought some magic cleaner-stuff and got the same reaction from Brent's father!!
Oh you gotta love the summer. Brings out the sunscreen, swimming suits, and door-to-door salesmen! We've had two at our house already. Mike shut the door on some guy after he had told him no several times. He said something after he shut it, but he couldn't hear what it was. Probably good thing we couldn't hear it!
The same guy came to my door and even used your name to try to sell to me! too funny! Luckly, I was about to feed the baby and she was crying, so I got out of it pretty quickly.
I do the same thing... pretend not to be home. Unless Ben is home and then he gets to listen to the spill. I do think that if nothing else, this blog will provide Lisa P with a little business. :)
That was hilarous! Thanks for the laugh. And hey, look at it this way, at least now you have some really cool, non-gasoline smelling cleaner to remind you of what a good person you were to buy it from the limping father of twins. :)
Hahaha! I am pretty sure that I peed my pants reading your blog entries. This one the most, but they are all pretty entertaining. You crack me up! I love your stories. I think I'll check back to your blog frequently. By the way, I also bought the blue cleaner last summer because I felt sorry for the guy and because he was sooo funny. Maybe I need a sigh on my door too.
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