How To Be A Good Wife

I ran into this funny thing out on the internet somewhere. It's taken from The Good Wife's Guide from Housekeeping Monthly: May 13, 1955. Holy Crap, I'm glad I wasn't a housewife in the 1950s! Although I do admit to listening to Noah read from the Dick and Jane book we have and thinking it looked like such a lovely, simple time. Reminds me of when I was at BYU and my roommates and I used to read from the book The Fascinating Girl and laugh hysterically. Okay, not all of us. There were a couple who found it to have useful advice. I especially like number six, can you say Stepford Children? And number ten. Huh? I'm all for striving to be a good wife, but come on:

(1) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready in time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

(2) Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up and put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh - looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

(3) Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

(4) Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers etc... and then run a dishcloth over the tables.

(5) Over the cooler months of the year, you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

(6) Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

(7) Be happy to see him.

(8) Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

(9) Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to say, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

(10) Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late, or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through that day. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

(11) Your goal: try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

(12) Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

(13) Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low soothing and pleasant voice. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

(14) Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

(15) A good wife always knows her place.

Oh. My.