The Dumbest of The Smart

If I ever write a memoir it will be called The Dumbest of The Smart....a Memoir. It's almost as cool as the name of Brent's future memoir, In The Shadow of The Squeegee. Very mysterious I know. These names are copyrighted of course. Sorry, you can't have them. I've always felt that way, dumbest of the smart. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. There's always room for improvement. If I were smartest of the dumb, well then I would have peaked. I'd have to say, this is as good as it gets. In high school I was in honors classes...just barely. I should write a memoir just to save all the timeless tales of my childhood for my children and my children's children to read someday. I think about it then I think, could I ever really put my most embarrassing moment on paper? Or on the internet? Or even in microsoft word? I've had the same most embarrassing moment of my life since I was 19 years old. So for twenty years. It was so embarrassing it has been difficult if not impossible to surpass. There I was, waiting for my date to pick me up in the afternoon. We were going over to the community college to play raquetball. There was a knock and Chuck (my step dad) told him to come in... Nope. That's as far as I can get. I've only told this story to two, maybe three people. Maybe it's not that bad, I just embarrass easily. Still. Some things are better left unsaid.

I could just start my memoir by telling how I got my name. Why did my parents name me Cindy? I'm not a Cindy in the '70's sense of the name. Cindy was always a dumb blond with a big chest on TV when I was growing up. I guess that is sort of appropriate. I am blond but anatomically I don't fit the bill. My dad had what I would guess was a small crush on a coworker. Why did he have a crush on this woman? Well, she'd had surgical augmentation, if you know what I mean. So yes, there you have it. My parents named me after a woman named Cindy who had a boob job. So glad I got that off my chest. Pun intended? I think my slight white trash upbringing streak is showing through. So back to my most embarrassing story. Could it really be worse than the story of how I got my name? I'm afraid so. It's funny if delivered properly. Funny and horrifying all at once. No, not yet. We'll save horrifying for later.