Hmmph

Did you ever see that episode of Oprah where this woman was told her  baby daughter had a great chance of being mentally challenged so she put signs up all over her house, labeling everything and spent hours teaching her every day and there she was on Oprah years later celebrating her daughter graduating from college or getting a scholarship or some other major, impressive feat? I think that episode was a load of crap. Do I think it was bad that she put all that time into teaching her daughter? No. It's good she did everything in her power. But I don't believe her daughter was really learning disabled if this is how it turned out. We have put in hours with one of our kids trying to help her with her learning difficulties. She isn't anywhere near mentally disabled of course, but she does struggle. She is smart in her own right but some things, like math, are hard for her (really hard for her) and all of the hours we've put in aren't making her a math genius so far. I watched that episode of Oprah and I took some ideas and tried to do my own thing with my own kid. I made her letter of the day bracelets (kind of weird yes, there was no pinterest back then) and books to try to teach her the alphabet (she was three at the time). I read to her and did lots of other things I can barely remember years later. I'm not saying you shouldn't try but my efforts at the time were met with frustration. Frustration on my part, frustration on her part. She wasn't ready for what some of the kids in her little preschool were doing at the time. Now she is not ready for the math that others in her class are doing. So what do we do? Do we keep cramming kids through a hole, letting those that don't slide in easily fall to the sides? That is what happens. Or do we make different sized and shaped holes so everyone can fit and it doesn't become a sort of survival of the fittest free for all. I have my doubts that they are ever going to listen to me on this though.

Easter 2013

Who are these gorgeous people?

Happy Easter II

I like this post too.

Happy Easter

Marie Osmond on Marriage Equality: "“The God that I believe in is a god of love, not fear. I don’t tell my children if you’re not good you’re going to Hell. I tell my children that God will be there for them when they struggle. That’s the God I believe in…

I believe in (my daughter’s) civil rights, as a mother. I think my daughter deserves everything that she desires in life. She’s a good girl. She’s a wonderful child. I don’t think God made one color flower. I think he made many.”

I'm not one to normally quote Marie Osmond but I really love this quote and wanted to remember it. Yes, It's about marriage equality and her daughter but I love the quote just for the general meaning of it. I do believe God is a God of love more than fear and He put us down here knowing we come in all sorts of varieties and that is a beautiful thing. God sent us here to learn and grow and he sent His son Jesus Christ to be our Savior, to save us from all that pain that being mortal throws at us. Just a nice little reminder this Easter weekend.

And something about bacon

I'm feeling better this week. I'm thinking (hoping) that last week was rock bottom. Rock bottom for everything. I did modify my diet. Took out gluten, cut back on dairy, sugar and processed food. I feel much better and I'm unexpectedly down ten lbs. I was retaining a few pounds of fluid the last time I weighed in before this though. My mood is much better than it's been in a long time now and I'm going to adopt a more zen, screw 'em all outlook on life. :) So I'll stick with this diet for the month (that's the plan anyway) and see where I am then.

I finally gave myself permission to read a novel too and happened to stumble across one that looked interesting at the library last Saturday. I hadn't given myself permission in a long time because of school and the giant textbooks that I have to read. The book is called Sugarhouse and is a memoir about a guy and his wife renovating a former crack house in Sugarhouse, Utah. I know! Totally up my alley. It's like I was meant to find this book. I'm almost done and I don't find the parts about the trouble with his family in the Midwest all that interesting but mostly it's entertaining. It has two awesome lines I have to share: "...between shifts (at work) and school I cruise around Sugarhouse, one of two viable neighborhoods for liberal types who want to live in Utah but pretend they're still in America." and this, discussing where to go out to eat: "There's always Training Table, which was locally famous for having, instead of table service, phones at each table- a concept popular with, well, no one, but they make up for it in bacon." Training Table has the best bacon I've ever tasted.

And...now

Three hours on a heating pad, I'm ready to get up now.

What's that?

I've been feeling crappy about things for a long time. I don't feel like myself enough anymore. I used to be humorous. I was always slightly self-deprecating but still humorous. I miss my old self. Depression sucks and I want it gone. I have chronic pain too. It started about ten years ago, shortly after Noah was born. It wasn't very bad at first but it's gotten worse and worse. It comes and goes. I can control it sometimes with exercise. That is one reason I'm so "religious" about exercising. But sometimes I get injured, for example, right now I'm working through a back injury, and I can't work out like I was and then things go south very quickly. It feels like I have screws in the back of my neck that are being tightened too tightly. It feels like all my joints have been tightened too much with those screws too and everything is all stiffened up. Like when you do tighten screws on something and things get all pulled together unnaturally. There are a bunch of other things too. I spoke with a doctor about it once and just got the line about it being normal as you age. Most people I talk to don't feel like this though. I looked up things on the internet and talked to some people and I've decided to diagnose myself with fibromyalgia. Sure, I should probably tell a doctor about my self diagnosis next time I see one but it doesn't have a cure anyway. It doesn't really have any objective findings for a doctor to measure either, from what I've learned. (Objective findings. See, I have been learning some things at school.) Now that I think about it, I've been to the doctor for a few of the symptoms but haven't talked about the symptoms collectively. I've just discussed foot pain or dizziness or whatever. So I guess I'll tell the doctor what I think next time.So now that I have self diagnosed myself what do I do? I've read about dietary changes so I think I will have to try some of those out. The diet tips have included cut out gluten, sugar, dairy, processed food and nightshade vegetables. Sounds easy..................... I'm being sarcastic of course. I don't know if I can eliminate ALL of that. I could cut out gluten for a while, give that a try. I already do at dinner for the most part. I've got that down because of Isabella's celiac, of course. I could seriously restrict the rest too. So I can try things. I still feel that if I drop twenty pounds it would help.

Maybe I do feel hopeful a little. I can't control any actions but my own. I can sit and do nothing and fail. I can get up and try and hopefully see change. The other issues...I can't control other people. I'm a good person. I'm not a good what the norm is around here but I'm still a good person. If others can't accept me, don't want to accept those who are different, then I can't control that. I shouldn't have to try to be what makes other people happy when it makes me miserable. So there is hope. There is hope and writing still makes me feel better, even if it is cryptic and fishing. Now I'm going to go take some ibuprofen and get busy.

Happy V-Day!

Noah's Valentine box he made for school. Yes, we got the idea from pinterest but he added his own flair (the hands) to make it his own. I think it turned out pretty great!

A small thought

We owe nothing more to anyone other than love, kindness and acceptance.

You can do it too

I think I need to watch this every morning before I get going for the day.



 I used to quote Rob Schneider saying this all the time, to Brent, just to bug him, after I saw whatever Adam Sandler movie this was originally from. Ah, memories.

Only One Opinion

So I keep debating whether I should go here or not. In 2008 I was fired up and passionate about my political beliefs. Now, they are there but I haven't gone into them a lot because I've been there, done that a hundred times and I'm just tired of it now. I'm bored with explaining. But maybe it's time to give it a go one more time. This election has really rattled some people, to say the least. I think for the LDS people anyway, their conservative political beliefs were there (for conservative Mormons anyway) and on top of that was the shining hope of something special and unique in their eyes. Something that could have been a game changer. The within-hands-reach-possibility of a Mormon being president. I can imagine how exciting that could be. However, I didn't share that hope with them because I am not a conservative and I don't believe God finds us any more special that anyone else. That's just my feelings on it, maybe not yours.

So they were understandably saddened, disheartened, disappointed and, in some cases, horrified at the loss of Mitt Romney. Or , rather, the win of Barack Obama. I understand that. In 2000, I sat in disbelief and disappointment when George W. Bush became president. I was just coming into my realization that I leaned Democrat at the time and I wasn't in awe of Al Gore, but environmental concerns were on my mind. I still wonder where our fuel efficiency standards would be now if he had become president. Where our dependency on foreign fuel would be and how much alternative energy we would be using. then when GWB was re-elected, well after the fiasco of the Iraq war and the debacle over WMDs I was sorely disappointed. I admit I cried just a little. I hated that he was going to be president for another four years. So I get the pain conservatives are going through. On the other hand, those who are glued to Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck should probably take a step back and get some perspective. Rush Limbaugh is a man filled with hate. I don't know how anyone can say otherwise. Glenn Beck has a messiah complex. Sorry, but I really believe it is true.

So conservatives are in pain. I don't agree with it, of course. Mitt Romney is a swell guy and all, good family man, good at making wads of cash, nice hair. But he isn't what I wanted in a president. President Obama, on the other hand, he's not the antichrist. He is really no more liberal than Bill Clinton was. To me he seems like a good person and I trust him more with the reigns than I trusted Mitt Romney. All of this is really just one person's opinion, so don't worry about it too much. I know you're not worried about it. I mean the only reason I'm even writing this is because my blog doesn't get much traffic these days. I kind of like that. I know there are a couple of readers here and there but not enough for my blog to actually make a stir. So I can write this without getting all confrontational.

Anyway, now I'm going to discuss why I voted for President Obama. What is important to me? Not enough has been done to protect the environment. It is a big concern to me because I want a nice home for my children when they grow up. Environmental issues are important to me. Reducing greenhouse emissions is important to me. Finding clean, alternatives to coal and oil is important to me. I can't say Obama has done a ton on this front but a little is happening. Fuel efficiency standards have been raised. Alternative energy sources are getting more attention. It's not enough but it's something. The truth is, democrats have the record for supporting environmental issues and republicans don't so much. So I'm hopeful more will be done this term.

I feel safer with Obama as president. Romney did not seem very good with foreign policy to me. He seemed a little too keen on the idea of jumping into another war. The few examples of him dealing with diplomatic matters did not seem to go well. I trust Obama more to be diplomatic and to work to find peace without war. It's a good thing that our reputation as a respected country has gone up with Obama as president.

I believe in a social safety net. No, I am not on welfare. I have never used any of the traditional social programs to help with my personal needs. Things like welfare, food stamps, WIC,  and government sponsored student loans. I've never used any of them but I'm glad they have been there for those who need them. Someday my kids will be grown and the truth is I can't afford to pay for much of their college education. Scholarships would be welcomed of course, but if they don't happen or don't happen enough, I still want my kids to get an education. I believe they have a right to an education and a low interest rate loan would be welcomed. It's not my job to judge those who have come on hard times. I believe most who have come on hard times did not do this out of laziness. Life is hard and sucks sometimes and there is a heck of a lot of difference between the likelihood of success for someone who is born in a stable, upper middle class family and someone born to a single mom who is doing drugs and is absent a lot of the time because of work or neglect or whatever. I've seen children who come from homes like this. They become adults and it is like they are at the starting line of a race with a heavy weight strapped to their shoulders. It is so much harder for them to get it together and to figure out how to be adults, how to take care of themselves, and sometimes, how to keep from dragging other little ones into the messiness of their lives. Sometimes they fail and they need help getting back up. Sometimes the only source of support they have is the overworked, public school teacher who takes times to help them as children. That is just one example of hardship. There are so many more out there and not enough charities and kindhearted people out there to help those in need.

I've read about how the government shouldn't help because this takes away the opportunity for others to serve. Okay, if I am homeless and disease ridden, it is not my job to be a vessel for your good deed points. Charity and kindness are wonderful, important things, but people aren't hurting just so you can feel good about yourself. (Sorry, but that point really sticks in my side a little.) To me that just makes it sound as if someone is suffering just so another can get the reward of serving them. We need charity, but we also need government safety nets to help when there is not enough. People DO die because they don't have healthcare. They DO lose their homes because of the hardship of medical bills. Things aren't ever going to be perfect, but the government can help. The government is THE PEOPLE after all.

So, abortion. Not my favorite subject. I hate abortion and wish it didn't exist. But I cannot tell a woman who is deciding between her own life and an embryo what she should do. I've never been in that position so I can't make a judgement on that. I can't tell the rape victim what to do if she should become pregnant. This is what I do believe: the best way to prevent abortions is to keep unwanted pregnancies from happening in the first place. It's all fine and good to say, well they shouldn't have had sex. But you know what, they are going to have sex (speaking in general terms here) and I'd rather they had education and birth control than an innocent child be aborted or be born to a woman who has no safety net. Especially when those who oppose abortion also oppose helping that child after he or she is born. Not to mention that birth control also prevents unwanted pregnancies in impoverished families headed by a husband and a wife. It isn't just people having sex out of wedlock. Here's a study too: http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/10/05/966121/obamacare-birth-control-abortion/ .

Oh yeah, the economy. It's improving a little here and there. It needs to improve more, of course. I believe the president has done some good and tried to do more but has been blocked by congress all along the way (the jobs act). People say the housing market will never get back to where it was. Well I don't believe house prices were ever supposed to be as high as they were. A person who would buy my house in my neighborhood shouldn't have to pay $250,000 for my house. My house might have sold for that much in 2005 or somewhere around that. That is nearly $100,000 more than what we paid for it four years earlier. Did wages go up enough to justify this? No. House prices never should have been as high as they were, there wasn't enough money out there to make the payments to support this.

So, there you go. My beliefs as a person who believes in God and Jesus Christ. My spiritual beliefs do inform my views. I'm not looking to change any minds. These are just my views. To be honest, I'd be surprised if anyone actually made it through reading this whole thing.

Oh, and here is a good blog post that deals with the worries about the president bringing on the apocalypse and all of that fun stuff: http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2012/11/sorry-to-kill-your-apocalyptic-election-buzz/